I had a really hard time with it the first week or so. I have a lot on my plate already (who knew being a stay at home mom would be such a busy job), so I was super nervous.
I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to give Paige the attention she needed.
I was worried it would cause stress on my relationship with Rick.
I was worried that the house would be even messier than it already is (only ALL of the time).
I was worried I wouldn't learn everything I needed to for this job.
I was worried that I wouldn't be able to take Paige swimming or to the zoo (or other fun summer activities now that she is getting older).
I was worried that I would be jealous of all of the other SAHMs that get to do fun things with their kids.
I was worried that I had just lost my freedom.
(I'm a worry wart... can you tell?) :)
I expressed my worries to Rick (I may or may not have had a break down), and he gave me a blessing. It was such a special blessing, just what I needed. I now know, that even though it's not something I necessarily am excited about doing, it is something that God has provided for us. It is just temporary, and I am so happy that I can help take some of the burden of providing for our family off of Rick's shoulders for a few months.
I am so very grateful to have a husband who is worthy to hold the priesthood. Some of you may know that there was a brief time in my life when I did not have the priesthood in my home. There was an emptiness inside of me during that time. I knew that something was missing and that I wasn't as happy as I knew I could be. I won't go into details, but I am just so grateful for Rick.
On a very random side note, I just called the insurance, and found out that Paige has met her out of pocket, so we won't have to pay anything else for her until July. Yay! Also, we are $1,000 away from meeting our family out of pocket. Think we can make it? ;)
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2 comments:
It is really, really hard being a working mom sometimes. I am blessed to have a schedule which allows me to be at home alot more than other working moms, but sometimes I really do envy true stay-at-home moms. But...I have found out that being a working mom has actually made me a BETTER mom than I think I would be if I were home all of the time. I find myself not taking for granted the time that I do have. I am super organized because I have to be. And I like knowing that while I am working I am helping make others' lives better: something I hope to pass on to little Bean. So while it is temporary, hang in there because I think you will find that on the other side of this job, you will be a better mother and a better person. Sometimes our trials (and worries, in your case) end up being our biggest blessings! :)
Thanks! That's really good advice! I have been training the past couple of weeks, and have noticed that even though it has been kind of stressful, I almost am more grateful & happy to see her (for lack of better words). Thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it!
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